Your grandma's got shit taste
by ghanathesaiyan4
Summary: Camp Camp's over for the summer again but this time Max has a got a new home to return to, well, maybe not so new. - A look into David and Max's life together: the daily life, the challenges and everything in between.


Your grandma's got shit taste

A/N: This is my first foray into the Camp Camp fandom and like almost everyone I want David to adopt Max at the end so this is my take on their first official day.

Chapter One: The first day

"Here we are! Home sweet home!" He eyed the cream painted wood house with suspicion as he hopped out of the car. It wasn't a super nice neighborhood, in fact he'd say it was on the edge of being sketchy. Seemed like the only thing that kept it from being that way was that the people who lived here lived here for a long time. Wondered how David had ended up here. He hefted his backpack over his shoulder as he shuffled up the drive way. "The front yard isn't much but there's a half-acre in the back which I think more than makes up for it!" David fumbled a moment with the keys in his excitement to open the door, "And in we go!" He followed inside, taking in his new place of residence. After a quick glance he realized he might be the newest thing in the house. He was for sure younger than that tv. "Here's the living room. And the kitchen." The living room was longer than it was wide, encompassing the whole right side of the front of the house. There was a floral fabric covered couch, a crazy old tv on a entertainment center and, Jesus was that a rocking chair? On the left side was the kitchen and what could be designated as a dining room area 'cept it was just a round wooden table and chairs and then one of those stupid tall cabinets with glass to show the dishes in them. The whole place was seeped with age, not at all the place he was expected a normal dude in his twenties to have, course David wasn't normal. "It's all old as shit, I should have known with your lack of taste." "Now I know it may not be what you're used to-" "What's next?" He ranted, "Lace dollies on the table, plastic covering on the couch, some arcane bowl full of butterscotch that'll break my teeth?" "I don't necessarily approve of hard candy but if you want, we can get some." David had that stupid condescending tone in his voice, which him want to snap more, "What are you, an old lady?" "Would you like some tea?" "Hell no, I don't want some-" "I have milk." The words were clipped and clearly avoiding something. Since it seemed like David wasn't going to let this one go he demanded, "I want juice." He pulled one of the wooden chairs out from the table and sat down as a cup full of orange juice was promptly poured and given over. He took a swig of the juice, and it was real stuff, not the concentrate kind like that they had at camp. He looked at the wooden cabinets, the old ass refrigerator that was making a ton of noise and the shitty girly curtains around the window while David fixed his own drink up. David sat in the chair next to him, cradling a steaming mug in his hands. He took a sip of his tea before explaining quietly, "This house was my grandmother's. She moved here after my grandfather died and lived here for over thirty years. When I graduated high school and started working at Camp Campbell, she let me stay here when the summer was over, and I worked and took care of whatever she needed around the house. And when she died almost three years ago, she left it to me." Max looked around the house with new understanding of the decor if it really did belong to an old lady. A thought popped in his head and was blurted out before he could think otherwise, "She didn't die in here, did she? Cause I've had enough ghost fuckery for a lifetime." David's brow furrowed, "No, she did not. Though I appreciate your concern." When they finished their drinks, David led him into a tiny room with a stacked washer and dryer that was balls hot, "This is the washroom, all of the cleaning supplies are here too. And here's the door to the backyard!" David swung the door open and what the fuck it was like a forest or a meadow or some shit. "-I think that manicured lawns are too showy, besides nature should just be nature! The garden's right there. We'll have some wonderful vegetables to dig up later this year." The garden was a huge section, neat rows in the soil right by the back porch. "I've got a sprinkler system set up and my- I mean our- neighbor," The correction was made with a blinding grin that hurt his eyes, "Is nice enough to come turn it on while I'm at camp if it hasn't rained in a while. He weeds the garden too, and in exchange I always give him a nice basket full come harvest time." David threw his arms out grandly, "There's all this area for you to play in and if you see a snake just holler. There's a tire swing, and oh, when it gets cooler, we can start a fire in the pit and make s'mores!" He scuffed his shoe against the dirt, "Damn, I knew it was gonna be like camp." "We can camp out here or I could even set it up in the living room! Indoor camping, with AC and Wi-Fi, just like you wanted!" They went back inside to continue the tour, going back through the kitchen and into the living room to go down the hallway. There were two doors on the right side and two on the left. David pointed to the closest door on the left, "This one's the linen closet." Then opened the first door on the right, flicking the light on, "Here's the bathroom." It was a pretty standard bathroom, personal taste aside, but David brushed back the shower curtain to display the features of the half-bath, "The shower head is removable; now that I think about it you might not be able to reach it. We can run you a bath tonight if you want." He kicked the side of the tub, remarking, "It's got one of those old people doors, cause they can't get out of the tub." David knelt down and swung the door open, "That's right. Isn't it neat?" "Doesn't the water run out?" He asked then promptly ignored David's rambling about it in favor of looking around at the green stucco walls and the hideous coral colored sink that was shaped like a shell. They filed out of the bathroom and went further down the hall past one door- "My room is right here, it's a little bit bigger than yours, but I'm a little bit bigger than you so I think it's fair."- and stopping in front of the other- "And this is your room!" David opened the door with gusto, "I didn't want to do too much to it, since it's fun to decorate your own room." It was a small room, with the same beige carpet, a window on the outer wall, and light blue walls. "I repainted it a year ago, I chose this blue because it reminds me of the sky, who knew that it would be your favorite color, isn't that a coinkydink!" "What are you five?" He muttered, "Just say coincidence." The only furniture was a wardrobe in the corner, one of those wooden beds that had a high side so it could be tucked against the wall and a desk with a white plastic rolling chair. "The bed frame has been in my family for a while, but the twin mattress is relatively new." David lifted the edge of the blanket to showcase the under the bed storage, "Isn't it nice, Max? It's got not one, not three, but two whole drawers under it. We can get you some new patterned sheets if you want. I wasn't sure what you preferred, for now it's just made up with guest sheets." Max took a few steps closer so he could feel the starchy white bedsheets and the pillows had a god-awful lacy fringe on it. "Here's the desk, it came in a set with the daybed, there was a matching chair but that broke a while ago, so I went and got you this one. It swivels and everything! And here's-" "What's with the quilt?" David stopped mid-sentence, "Huh?" He tugged on the patchwork quilt that topped the bed, "The quilt. Let me guess some sort of shitty family heirloom." "I'm glad you asked, Max! This quilt has been used in the family for years as a blanket for the new babies being brought home from the hospital. I thought you'd like it, since this is your first night as a member of the family." Suddenly the whole day and house tour felt like too much, it was all too real and the warm feeling that was cloying in his throat manifested itself into an aggression that came from years of emotional repression. In a flash he ripped it off the bed, throwing it onto the carpet, "I don't want your stupid fucking quilt! I don't want your stupid daybed, I don't want-"And off he went. He was throwing a tantrum for no damn good reason and he knew it but he couldn't bring himself to stop. When he finally finished, coughing a few times, voice hurting from all the screaming David was still standing there with infinite patience and a mournful look in his eyes. "You don't have to use the quilt if you don't to." David bent down and picked up the quilt, folding it neatly and setting it on top of the desk. He sniffed, swiping a sleeve-covered arm across his face, feeling very tired and very small looking up at the very tired and very tall man who had changed everything. David gave him a soft smile, "I'll leave you to get settled in while I get dinner whipped up." He only had his backpack to unpack which only had whatever he brought to camp at the beginning of the summer. He would have brought his coffee maker, but Neil had wrecked that shit for spare parts. Fucker was lucky that camp was almost over when it happened or else the whole camp would have had hell to pay. He put on the bed, spending a little time arranging him on the pillows, before he did anything else. He didn't really have much to hang up on the wardrobe, but he put his extra hoodie in just to say he put something in there. Everything else got dumped into the two drawers in the bed, clothes in one and non-clothes in the other. It was kinda depressing seeing how little he had to start a new life with. Then again there wasn't that much at his old house anyway, plus he had already brought anything sentimental with him to camp. With his unpacking done he just sat down on the bed and fiddled with a frayed string from his hoodie. A little while later David poked his head into the room to announce, "Dinner's ready." There was a glass baking dish sitting on the stove top and the table was set with bright white dishes. David handed him an empty plate, "We have chicken thighs and drumsticks, and broccoli and cauliflower. I didn't know if wanted some cheese or not on your vegetables." His parents never asked for his preference, especially for something so trivial. He took some cheese. David's enthusiasm had tapered off since the outburst, instead transforming into a gentle excitement as he talked about the town and the garden and whatever else he could use to fill the silence that he thought might interest Max. When he finished eating he brought his plate over to the sink so it could be washed. He had to stand on his tiptoes to put the plate in, muttering, "Thanks for dinner." David beamed, "Of course! Did you like it? I can make it again, it's really easy, just a one pan recipe." He shrugged, "It was fine. Better than the Quartermaster's slop." "I used thyme from the garden." David informed while reached over him to start running the sink so he could wash the dishes. Max couldn't reach the sink, so he wiped down the table instead. When they were finished cleaning, David asked, "Would you like some dessert?" It could be a trick question, who knew what the camp man classified as a dessert, but on the other hand it was dessert and he really loved dessert. "Sure, whatever." With a nod, David pulled out a miniature version of a muffin tin and sprayed it with some shit. "What are you doing?" David looked down at him in surprise, "Making dessert." "You're making it." He parroted back with a curl in his lip. "Yeppers, no-bake strawberry cheesecake balls!" David did a quick double take, "Would you like to help?" He frowned, "Can't reach the counter." "We can fix that!" A chair from the table was dragged over so he could stand on it. David pulled out a package of cream cheese to soften and box of strawberries. "We need to cut the tops off a 1/2 cup of strawberries, can I trust you with a steak knife?" He rolled his eyes, "You've seen what I can do with a switchblade, I can handle it." Max worked with the strawberries on the cutting board, so David was free to finish out a blender. They dumped the strawberries and cream cheese into the blender then poured in 2 tablespoons of melted coconut oil, and another 2 tablespoons of honey in and blended it all until smooth. He let David prattle on while he scooped the puréed mixture into the muffin tin, "I don't really like using refined sugar but if you want we can make cookies later this week, course we'll have to go to the store since I haven't restocked the fridge from the summer. I only have the cream cheese and the strawberries from my breakfast." David took the full tin and slid it into the freezer, "Now we'll let this set for an hour. What would you like to do in the meantime?" He glanced over to the living room, and only saw one thing that interested him, "Does the tv work?" "Of course, it does. Let's go find some family-friendly content." He hopped down from the chair, "Only if I get to pick out what we watch tomorrow." "Deal." They watched some stupid nature documentary with David providing unnecessary background commentary until the timer in the kitchen went off. David pulled the tin from the freezer and let it sit for another three minutes then popped them out onto a plate. "Alrighty, Max, try one out." He took one, which was an obnoxious pink color and slightly sticky and bit into it. "Good, huh?" It was good, in a tangy sort of way. He took another. David finished his and set about tidying up the kitchen, "Just need to put these in a bag and into the freezer. You can have another one tomorrow if you want. They can be stored for up to 3 months, but I doubt they'll last that long with the two of us." He stuck his fingers in his mouth to suck the stickiness off since he couldn't reach the sink to wash his hands. He wiped them on a napkin as he went back to the couch intent on commandeering the remote. He turned on the news and watched reporting on the world going to shit till David came over, "I think it's about time to get ready for bed. We've had a long day." He put up a valiant fight to stay up later but ultimately lost, getting ushered into the bathroom with a set of pajamas. He ended up taking a bath, just sitting in the warm water thinking until David knocked on the door. It didn't take long to wash his body but his hair, that was always a mess and it took forever to wash and dry. He did his best to towel dry it, so he wouldn't drip all over his pajamas, shuffling down the hall to his new room. David hovered as he crawled under the over-starched sheets to settle down for the night, "Would you like me to read you a bedtime story? I don't have any children's books, but I have the Lord of the Rings series." His brow drew in confusion, "Really? I thought that shit would be more up Nerris' alley." David smiled proudly, "I happen to like 's work. His symbolism with trees is very interesting to me." "Nope. That's a whole other conversation I can mock you for on another day." David flicked the light switch off, leaving only the light from the hallway illuminating the room, "It's not very nice to mock people's interests." "That's basically all I did at camp. Besides you're the one who said we should go to sleep." He crossed his arms over his chest, "Plus there's no way I'd rather listen to you read a book than watch tv." "I could get the audio book, I think the library has it-" "It's fine." David nodded, moving to the door, "Alright then. Sweet dreams." "Wait!" He had held a hand out to stop David but let it drop as he mumbled, "I want the quilt." Ocean green eyes blinked at him in surprise, so he continued hurriedly, "Don't read anything into this, it's just because it's cold as hell here." There was a soft fond exhale- if breathing could be fond, "And here I was under the impression that hell was supposed to be hot." He flushed but didn't say anymore, as David took the folded quilt from the chair and brought it over. Swift hands spread the quilt out then pushed it under the mattress at the foot of the bed before tucking him in snugly. A warm, calloused hand brushed through his curls with an equal warm smile when he batted the hand away half-heartedly. "I hope you'll feel at home soon, Max." David said closing the door behind him and drawing the room into darkness. He pulled the quilt up to his face and hugged closer. It was a kinda comforting thought, to be a part of a family.


End file.
